


You Keep Me Awake Even When I'm Sleeping

by meetmebackat221bbakerstreet



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-23
Updated: 2013-05-23
Packaged: 2017-12-12 17:05:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/813943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meetmebackat221bbakerstreet/pseuds/meetmebackat221bbakerstreet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock Holmes had come back from the dead, but John always felt like he was going to slip away at any moment. Nightmares still plagued him, and one night Sherlock is there to comfort and reassure John, that he is not going anywhere.<br/>(Prompt given to my through tumblr.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Keep Me Awake Even When I'm Sleeping

John had gone to bed early that night, his day was absolute shit, and nothing sounded better than going right up to his bedroom and sleeping for about twelve hours. Sherlock was out on a case that John hadn’t been able to go to since he had work. He didn’t expect him home until later, but kept his phone by him just in case he needed him.

It wasn’t long after he fell asleep that he began to dream. It was quite a decent one, in fact. John was reading a book by the fire, and Sherlock was sitting down, plucking away at his violin, a habit he had when he was thinking. Everything was clam and quiet and he was very content. John could stay here forever.

Until he heard a crash of the door opening and footsteps coming up the stairs. John looked up at Sherlock, who had an alarmed expression on his face. John started to panic, Sherlock was never worried about such things, if anything, his face would have a look of curiosity, not worry. John slammed his book shut and stood up, waiting for the person to come into their flat.

The door swung wide open and there was the man that John had thought dead. Gone. Sherlock had told him he shot himself on the roof after he came back from the years he was supposedly dead.

“ _Hello, boys_.” Moriarty smiled, gum smacking in his mouth.

Sherlock got up from his seat and placed the violin on it, “Jim, what a nice surprise. To what do we owe this pleasure?” Sarcasm very much dripping from his voice.

Jim was now pacing behind the sofa, “Just dropped by to see how my favorite couple is getting along. Johnny boy, thought you had gotten rid of me, didn’t you?”

John’s stomach did a flip, “What do you want?”

Moriarty put hands on either side of the couch, “Unfinished business, Doctor Watson. I came here to finish my job.”

John went to make a move but found himself rooted to the spot. He tired again, but nothing. Jim smiled at him, causing shivers to run down John’s spine, and came over to stand across from him.

“You stay right there, Johnny boy, and watch.”

He then grabbed Sherlock by his hair and kicked his stomach so he was on his knees.

“ _Sherlock!_ ” John yelled, fighting even harder to break whatever hold that was forcing him in one place.

“J-john.” Sherlock chocked out as he struggled to regain his breath.

“Now see, this what happens when you try to beat me, Sherlock, you get beat _en_.” Jim then kicked Sherlock right in the ribs and there was a loud crack that rang through.

John was calling out Sherlock’s name and yelling profanities and Moriarty, still struggling to move, to help, to do something. He would not be as helpless as he was on that day he so desperately tired to forget.

_“Sherlock! Stop it! Stop it now! Let him go! Sherlock!”_

“No one to save you now Sherlock! Look, even your little boyfriend won’t save you! He’s watching! He’s _enjoying_  this!”

Then he felt his shoulder give a little tug, like someone was pushing him. His vision started to blur, and everything started to fade, he couldn’t hear Sherlock’s screams or Moriarty’s harsh laugh.

“John! Wake up!”

John quickly blinked, he could see nothing at first but after awhile, he saw Sherlock leaning over him, with his hand on his shoulder.

 _“Jesus Christ.”_ John sighed and put his hands over his face, noticing that it was wet from the dream.

“Finally, I’ve been trying to wake you up for five minutes. Are you… Alright?” Sherlock asked, his eyes fixed on John and his hand still on his shoulder.

John just wanted to disappear in his bed, Sherlock didn’t need to see John like this, a mess. How he was when Sherlock wasn’t there. He didn’t want to seem weak.

He finally managed to get out, “Mm, yes, sorry. I’m okay now, go to bed. I’m sure you’re tired from the case.”

Sherlock huffed, “Hardly. It was boring. And I slept for four hours last night, I’m perfectly awake. What were you dreaming about?”

John sat up and sighed, “Nothing, Sherlock, it’s fine. It’s over now.”

Sherlock removed his hand as John sat up. He knew John wasn’t fine, not by any means. But he still didn’t know how to comfort the man. It’s not often Sherlock gets to see John when he is vulnerable.

“No you’re not. Please, John. Don’t treat me like an idiot, clearly you are distressed. Was it a dream about the war?”

John exhaled, “Not exactly, no.”

Sherlock sat beside John, “Well, I’m not leaving until you tell me.”

“Really, Sherlock? It’s fine, nothing. Just a dream. I’m okay.” 

John was lying though, he was not fine. He could still hear the screams coming from Sherlock, Moriarty’s laugh. It made him feel sick to his stomach, but the last thing he wanted was for Sherlock to tell him out utterly ridiculous he was being.

Sherlock glanced down at John’s hand, it was trembling. Not good. Really not good.

“Please, John. Just tell me. You might feel better.” Sherlock dug at John.

“No, you’ll just tell me I’m being stupid.” John was beginning to get annoyed, why couldn’t Sherlock let this be?

“I won’t. I promise. John, don’t make me ask again.”

John shuddered, Sherlock was using his voice that meant he wasn’t just saying what he was saying for his own amusement. That voice did wonders on John. And it made him crack every time.

“You. Dreaming about you.” John let out, putting his head in his knees.

Sherlock was taken back, “Me? But you were frantically screaming. What could you have  _possibly_  be dreaming of?”

John swallowed, “It started out fine. It was just me and you, just being us in the flat. And then someone broke into the door and came up and started to hurt you, and I was just stuck there, rooted to the spot as he beat you, and I couldn’t do anything about it, just like last time.”

Sherlock’s mouth was hanging open, fighting for something to say, anything. He had not anticipated this, why would John be so upset anyways? He was in tears, crying. Nothing was making sense. Except what John had said about the last time.

“Moriarty. It was him who was beating me.” 

John nodded, looking up from his knees, staring out his window.

“He’s not here anymore, John. He’s dead, gone from our lives from good.” Sherlock was trying his best to ease his friend, or his, friend-that-he’s-in-love-with-but-refuses-to-tell-him.

“I know. I know that Sherlock. But it was so real. Just like last time. I couldn’t help. I had to watch you get beaten, as I had to watch you fall.” John’s voice cracked as he spoke.

Sherlock bit his lip, still unsure how to comfort John. Sentiment had still not been his area. 

“John, do these… Dreams. Do they happen often?”

John nodded, “Yes, I suppose most time I don’t scream though. Mostly it’s just you, falling, while I watch. Having to watch you die over and over again.”

Sherlock felt a stab of pain in his chest. He didn’t want John to live through this, thinking he’s the one that was to blame. That his was all Sherlock’s fault. He had started the game with Moriarty, even when John warned him not to. He fell protecting the people he loved from his own mistakes. 

“John, do not blame yourself. There was nothing you could do. I sealed my fate, but yours didn’t have to be the same. I would do it all over again in the same exact way, if I had to. It was worth protecting you.”

 _“No,”_ John all but growled, “I was supposed to protect you. We could of went into hiding. I would have bloody well jumped off with you. I watched you die.”

Sherlock quirked his head to the side, “I wouldn’t have let you jump with me. You will not pay for my mistakes.”

John turned to Sherlock, seeing the look on his face, he was sincere, “You’re back, but I always feel like you are going to leave me again.”

“Never,” Sherlock reached and grabbed John’s hand, “I’m never leaving you again, John Watson. What I went through for those three years were the worst of my life without you. I don’t know how I managed to survive without you constantly telling me to eat, or sleep.”

John’s eyes widened when Sherlock grabbed at his hand, but it was definitely not unwelcomed. He squeezed Sherlock’s hand in reassurance. 

“You were always rubbish at taking care of yourself, tosser.” John smiled fondly at Sherlock.

Sherlock gave a full smile, “And that is why I plan on not leaving you for the rest of my life.”

John gasped, the rest of his life? “You mean… You want to spend the rest of you life… With me? Boring, dull, me?”

“Of course I do John, keep up. You’re not boring. You’re smart, fascinating  and you never cease you surprise me. The question is, do you want to spend the rest of your life with me?”

John looked at him in bewilderment this extraordinary, brilliant, captivating man was asking him to spend the rest of his life with him. What else could he say?

_“Oh God, yes.”_

 


End file.
